Monday, June 23, 2008

This past Saturday was a dud. Bachelor party season usually brings out the worst in me. The summer most likely equals crowds of super drunk, young guys who are more interested in attempting to get your phone number and high-fiving their friends than tipping you on stage. These guys are too naive to realize that stripping is a job, not a hobby that exhibitionist women do to escape Saturday night boredom.
Sorry, boys-compliments aren't dollars. If I'd made a dollar for every time I heard "oh my god, you're sooo hot" from some twenty-something asshole in a collared shirt, I'd be a damn millionaire.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

My Favorite Stripper Songs

"Moneymaker"-Rilo Kiley
"Digital Bath"-Deftones
"No Ordinary Love"-Deftones
"The Red"-Chevelle
"Carmen Queasy"-Maxim featuring Skin
"Crazy"-Aerosmith
"Androgyny"-Garbage
"I Need You"-Lynyrd Skynyrd
"Turn the Page"-Metallica

Monday, June 16, 2008

Out of Retirement

Saturday, June 14, 2008 was the first night I've worked in almost a year. I was a bit nervous, but, not unlike swimming or riding a bike, stripping is an ability that one never forgets.

When I took the stage, all the dancer moves that I've acquired throughout the years immediately came back to me. It was strange-a year is a long time, but it feels like I've never left the bright lights, loud music and catty dancers that are so characteristic of the stripping world.

That being said, there was not a single dancer that I knew. Most of the girls were newer, younger and more naive. Most of them talked about "going back to school" or "going to school someday." Sadly, a majority of them never acquire an education. An unfortunate statistic. Several of them were more concerned with drinking or getting high after work than anything else. I guess I've never understood that.

Luckily, the crowd was mostly older. This is great, because young guys are rude, cheap and looking for a girlfriend. I made about $500-not bad for my first night out of retirement. :)